Welcome to the quiet party

This is a place for me to process my inner experience toward the goal of becoming more fully and freely myself. I enjoy sharing that process with whoever wants to follow along, and join in. If you are into inner work done with gentleness and precision, you’ll probably like it here!

What am I processing?

Always, my journey out of CPTSD, Fearful-Avoidant attachment, and FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt) toward self-care, boundaries, and an undefended heart. Recently, my journey figuring out how to be consistently creative when my brain wants to go in all directions at once, and I’m periodically overwhelmed by a fear of exposure.

What will you find here?

Inner maps, perspectives, inspiration, and fellow travelers. And some unicorns and rainbows. 🩄 🌈 (That’s part of my journey to reclaim and nourish my inner child, and letting myself be unapologetically and un-ironically enthusiastic about life. Because whether it’s “cool” or not, it feels good to wake up happy and ready to play. 😁)

You’ll also find gentle encouragement, validation, cheerleading, virtual hugs, resources, and implicit invitations to be your wild, wonderful, authentic self.

What will you not find here?

  • Gurus, easy answers, and promises of salvation.

  • “Kicks in the pants” or “tough love”. Also no: pushing, shaming, hating, or rejecting parts of you and hoping they will change.

  • Forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do.

  • Expectations that you should be somewhere that you’re not yet.

  • Perfectionism, self-blame, or “that’s just how it is” resignation.

In summary, this is about fierce gentleness and change without force. It’s about trusting that resistance is there for a reason, and we can get the furthest the fastest by slowing down and listening. It’s about absolute faith in our capacity to grow, and unconditional positive regard for our wounded parts. It’s about living a practice of wholeness, starting now.

My background & education

I’m not a therapist or coach, although I sometimes sound like one. As far as I can tell, I am an artist, my medium is writing, and my subject matter is figuring out my insides.1 And I’ve been doing this for awhile, so I’ve picked up some expertise along the way, but I don’t like being the expert dispensing wisdom. I’d rather be just a person sharing my process, in a community of people exploring self-healing & growth.2

I have taken professional trainings in trauma, attachment, Hakomi (a mindfulness-based humanistic therapy method), and have studied NVC and IFS (internal family systems), but I never became certified in anything.3 I’m not here to give you professional advice; I’m here to share my personal process after a lifetime of working on my issues & mapping my inner world.

Join me

I would love to build up a community of fellow journeyers, so please feel free to jump into the comments!

1

Thanks to my friend Sarah Dopp for the aritst-vs-service-provider distinction. If you like my writing, you’d probably like hers too!

2

If you want to be part of a private community of self-growth enthusiasts, I’m working on building one.

3

I have a longer bio on my JoyNinja blog if you are curious. That blog has historically been more educational (part of why I struggle to keep up with it), and Substack is my attempt to be more authentically an inner-work artist rather than an expert.

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I write about self-liberation from a psycho-spiritual perspective: how to heal trauma, recover natural joy & power, harness intrinsic motivation & live without compromising wellbeing or authenticity. Love > fear. Neurodivergent AF. 💚 🩄

People

Doing my best to navigate the dreamworld. 🩄 Virgo/Aries/Sag. Neurospicy. Depth & precision + fire & curiosity + glitter & rainbows. she/them.